Lullaby, Sweet Dorothy
by Joon and Poe
Summary: (complete: the arc is done!) YAOI, YURI, AU. third and final part of the 'fated storms' arc. Till Death, the Beast said.
1. For Annie

lullaby, sweet dorothy  
by poe nataku  
  
  


part one: for annie  
  


  
Thank Heaven! The crisis,  
The danger is past,  
And the lingering illness  
Is over at last-  
And the fever called   
Is conquered at last.  
  
_It's quiet, and dark. So cold and alone- why can't I see you?  
  
_Winter had come and gone, leaving the majestic earth to revel in the warmth of the sun and all her wondrous light. The harsh and frigid snow melted away beneath the kiss of June, and all the wild flowers came to life once more. Petals, soft as silk and precious as jewels danced along with each breath of wind. Twirling round and around in the crystalline skies.  
  
She sat in the wide sill of a sun bathed window, each beam doing little to warm her cold skin- skin cold as Winter's murderous song, and not so unforgiving. Her haunted eyes seemed softer in her reflection on the thick panes of glass. The mirroring of her image made her look fragile, as easily breakable as the window. It made her feel small- and helpless.  
  
The girl in the reflection was not alone, though she felt terribly so. Behind her lie a pale angel, on a white alter. A sun-starved princess on a sterile hospital's bed. Her long pain induced slumber had yet to steal the soft beauties from her face. Her lips held a pale rosy hue, though her cheeks had lost their warm color. Sad eyes hid behind thin ashen lids, denying the world the captivating love of her gaze. Her hair, for sheer convenience, had been bound in two long braids which lie around her as shackles and testament to her timelessness. She appeared so young this way- so sweet and dependent. Dependent on the soulless pallid machines around her which fed her breath and kept careful watch of her hearts hushed beating.  
  
Sadly, I know  
I am shorn of my strength,  
And no muscle I move  
As I lie at full length-  
But no matter! - I feel   
I am better at length.  
  
But even the mechanical pulse of these monstrous machines could not stain the lovely tender melody of its rhythm.  
  
Miss Catalonia?  
  
Transfixed by the ethereal world of this reflection, Dorothy had not heard the quiet sounds made by the opening of the door. As her name was called over the shadowy veil of her tormented thoughts she did little more than sigh, and turn ever so slightly from the window.  
  
A man in a long white coat, with wire rimmed glasses stood with his hand still holding the door's knob. His fawn-brown hair fell slightly into his eyes as he bowed his head. Pushing his glasses back up his nose with his index finger he said softly, You look tired, you should go home and get some rest.  
  
she said, tasting the word like forbidden fruits. She shook her head, thinking bitterly, _I don't have a home_.  
  
The man smiled a sad, piteous sort of smile. Then come and have coffee with me, he said after a short time spent in silent disease. you should have something to eat as well.  
  
Dorothy nodded, though doubted in earnest she could actually eat. She felt as though her insides had been waging battle upon each other- both sides taking heavy casualties. She rose to her feet, and stepped towards the door, absently running her fingers along the arm of the pristine bed's motionless occupant as she passed. She followed him down the long blemish free hallway, all the time staring at her feet.  
  
It was not until she found herself seated at one of many small tables in the hospital's dreary cafeteria that she looked up from the floor. The room smelled of coffee and disinfectants. She tried to force a thin smile as she was handed a steaming drink, but she was not met with much success. She accepted the warm styrofoam cup, staring into its the dark fragrant contents.  
  
The man sat across from her and sipped his own beverage. He opened his mouth, as though to speak but was silenced by her sudden upturned gaze. Before you begin, she said, holding his eyes in her own- a cold hard gloss to the blue of her irises. A face she wore only for business. A face forgotten not long ago. I am not a doctor. Whatever you are about to say, say it so that I might understand.  
  
His mouth snapped shut, face hardening in concentration as he struggled to mentally rephrase what information he needed to communicate. Finally, he smiled, and began to speak. Miss Catalonia, he said, smile instantly fading to the calm face of a professional. you've been spending very much time here, and, He paused then, as though waiting for her to make some comment- perhaps give some small sign that she was, in fact listening.  
  
She only stared into her coffee, and so, he continued.  
  
We have done everything that we can for Miss. Peacecraft. All of her wounds- internal bleeding, the lacerations on her lips, bruises on her neck, and the broken ribs and fingers have healed. Physically, she is in perfect health. If the damage were _only _physical, she would have woken up by now. He stopped again, thinking she might have something to say.  
  
She met him with only silence, and down cast eyes.  
  
And I rest so composedly-  
Now, in my bed-  
That any beholder,  
Might fancy me dead-  
Might start at beholding me,  
Thinking me dead.  
  
There is a chance that she might never wake up. Saying this, he sighed, and she looked up at him- a sad frightened light caught in her eyes. I don't know what else I can tell you, Miss. Catalonia.  
  


~xXx~  


  
As her slow steps sounded on the spotless white floor- a somber steady pace down the hall- she let his words run circles around themselves in her mind. He said she might never wake up. She may never open her eyes again. She blamed herself. She had promised to set her free, and now she lied, comatose on a stiff colorless bed surrounded by machines. This was not freedom. It was as much a prison as Erlösung's so called protection, if not more.  
  
Her hand tightened on the door's knob and she closed her eyes, suddenly ashamed, and unwilling to face her slumbering princess. She feared she could not handle the devastation of wishing those eyes to open, and look into her, when she knew they would not.  
  
Too much time had passed this way. Upir, still and silent with lidded ruby eyes, and Dorothy, drowning in guilt and shame- The constant vigil of a tainted angel. She could almost hear the whispering of the shadows, saying with their dismal wrath, _You don't belong here. You couldn't save her. Even if she wakes, you don't deserve her_. Too much time had passed, with Dorothy watching over the unmoving princess, wishing only that she would wake, and she could say goodbye.  
  
Dorothy was a killer. An angel dressed in blood. She knew in her heart of hearts that she could never hold someone pure and beautiful as Upir with these stained hands. Upir deserved so much more- she deserved the universe itself, as Erlösung had tried to give her. Dorothy stayed by her side, needing to believe that one day, those nebulous red eyes- those eyes which pierced her very soul- would open, and she could say goodbye to the only thing she might have loved. The only girl who might have been able to love her back. She needed to bid farewell to the sad-eyed princess, knowing that she would be happy- and free.  
  
Dorothy never imagined that the only thing which could make those sad eyes smile was love. A promise of forever from a seraph bleeding the past.  
  
The moaning and groaning,  
The sighing and sobbing,  
Are quieted now,  
With that horrible throbbing  
At heart: -ah, that horrible,  
Horrible throbbing!  
  
She opened the door, and stepped inside. Storms of unspoken apologies, and small somber promises welled within her as she again beheld her sleeping beauty. Every time she opened this door her imagination played a very different scene.   
  
Instead of lying with a deathly silence, Upir sat in the window's ledge which Dorothy usually occupied. Her hair was loose, sprawling along her back in gentle curls- flowers resting in her tresses. She was staring out the window, watching the clouds dance with grace and ease through the warm summer's sky. When Dorothy entered the room Upir would turn from the window, as though she had been waiting for her all along. She would throw her arms around her, and smile with tenderness and love, bestowing petal soft kisses which meant more than all the world.  
  
All too soon, the dream would vanish and the iron whisper of her heart's monitor would fill the air once more. Upir remained hushed and defenseless on the narrow bed. And every time, it broke Dorothy's heart. She hated herself for it- for never realizing how much she had cared before it was too late- for playing Erlösung's cruel game when it hurt Upir so. She wished only to turn back the hands of the clock, back to the night she spent in Upir's chamber. The night she had quieted her fears and watched her sleep with that small serene smile. Had she another chance, she never would have left her. She wondered absently if this was the thing called love. A thing she had feared and hidden from for so long. Now that she was no longer so afraid, it had been stolen from her. But no matter, it was never truly hers to begin with.  
  


~xXx~  


  
When the sun set into the ashen folds of this once bright kingdom, an old nurse came to shoo Dorothy from Upir's small placid room as she did every night. In all the time Dorothy had yet to learn her name. She supposed it did not matter really, every morning she came and sat by Upir's side, and every night the nurse chased her away. It was a redundancy which in the past months had never changed- and probably never would.  
  
Dorothy had changed. Where the thirst for battle and decay once burned in her eyes there was an emptiness- a hollow. In watching only over Upir, she had neglected her own health, often skipping meals, having scarcely the will to eat at all. She appeared frail now, without her sadistic grin and hungry glare. Each night, upon returning from the hospital, she would retreat to her fencing foils or other forms fatiguing exercise where she would successfully exhaust herself. It was the only way she could sleep these days. She often pushed herself too far, nearly ending up in the hospital for far different reasons than waiting for Upir to wake.  
  
She lived alone, except of course for several loyal servants her grandfather had left behind. The house was vast and full of old memories- memories she would have wished away if she had the strength. It was not a home- merely a place she lived. The only thing her grandfather had left her, besides pain and loneliness. She had retuned to this place only to be close to her fallen princess, only for her.  
  
The servants had worried at first. Their lady spent her days torturing her heart at the bedside of a comatose girl- and her nights torturing her body nearly to the point of death. They might have worried more if their lady had been anyone other than Dorothy Catalonia. Sadly, they knew what she was- what the Duke had made her. Worry passed, as they decided instead to simply stay out of her way.  
  
The sickness- the nausea-  
The pitiless pain-  
Have ceased with the fever  
That maddened my brain-  
With the fever called   
That burned in my brain.  
  
She collapsed onto her bed, breathing hard and aching. She spent several moments staring at the celling, slowing her breaths in a sort of quiet meditation. Closing her eyes softly, her mind drifted uneasily, like a small ship in squalling seas. She thought about her childhood- about her harsh grandfather and all the scars. She thought back to the war- and this new and fragile peace. Humanity finally got what it wanted, trying to keep it- that was their battle now. She thought about the Gundam pilots, Relena Peacecraft, and Bast. She though of all the strength she had wasted fighting the wrong battle.   
  
Soon, her heart brought her mind to where it dwelled most, on Upir.  
  
It hurt her to think of all the wondrous things Upir could not see. Farcically sad, that peace may come and go without the Dove ever knowing. If Upir woke at all- and it was to a world of death and battle, blood and innocence lost, Dorothy would never forgive herself.  
  
Willing her body to stand, her eyes saving one last look of regret to the world beyond her windows, Dorothy surrendered herself to the soothing calm of a long, hot shower. The pounding of the water against her bare skin was a feeling in which she always reveled. The torrid strands of cleansing rain poured down upon her were all that could dull the pain of thought. She could never forget- but the steady beat of the shower seemed to lessen the hurt and intensity of these past months.  
  
She could have stayed there forever- beneath the falling water, simply washing away all that is wrong and cold. Water had always seemed to lull her into a sense of calm, well-being. After a time, feeling all tmuch too little, she stepped from the peaceful steam of the shower and wrapped herself into a long thick bathrobe. With her hair still wet, she crawled into the monstrous, apologetic bed.   
  
Her heart dragged her poor slumbering mind, weak and unwilling, back into the war torn fields of what could never be.  
  
She dreamt of a starry night, a wondrous navy sky alive with the ethereal twinkling of stars and her beloved harvest moon. Thin pale clouds adorned the night, loving the darkness like a mother. And in this mythical star embraced dreamscape was a small cottage, a cozy fire warmed place. Not just a house- but a home.  
  
Sinuous vines of ivy and morning glories danced up the walls of this lovely home, a home so bright and inviting. There was an air of happiness and love all around. It seemed almost holy. Sacred.  
  
Dorothy imagined herself lying on a soft old couch. In one hand, she held a tattered book, while the other trailed soft fingertips through the long red tresses of a girl who sat before a blazing midnight fire, her back leaning delicately against the timeworn sofa. She sighed contentedly, cherishing the sensations of this smooth hair beneath her fingers. The pages of her binding were readily neglected as a pair of gentle ruby-colored eyes turned towards her, the melancholy dance of the flames caught delicately as though tangible in those eyes. And then she smiled- and all the world seemed to melt away beneath the radiance of those sweet, sweet lips.  
  
_Don't give up on me_.  
  


~xXx~  


  
Dorothy woke with a cry snarled in her throat. Her body wanted to launch straight from the bed, or at least twitch- but she remained without movement, surprising the tormented sound struggling to escape her lips. She did not know exactly how long she lie there, perfectly still with only the sounds of her own ragged breathing daring to cross the air. She rose slowly to her feet, leaving her dreams behind her in the tangled silk of her ruby-colored sheets. The color reminded her of Upir's eyes. Before she left the house she had them changed to a less painful hue.  
  
And oh! of all tortures  
_That_ torture the worst  
Has abated- the terrible  
Torture of thirst  
For the naphthaline river  
Of passion accurst:-  
I have drank of a water  
That quenches all thirst:-  
  
Dorothy drove the weary distance between her grandfather's estate and the Sacred Sword Hospital in an unearthly blur. The speed- the wind wiping at her hair numbed away the hurt of her dream. Her slumbering mind was a cruel girl, taunting her with all the things she could never have. The roar of the engine, the steel emotionless machine beneath her feet almost made her feel alive again. Almost.  
  
Good morning Miss. Catalonia. A moon-faced nurse greeted her as she entered the hospital. She was less enthusiastic than usua, having learned long ago that Dorothy Catalonia did not have_ good_ mornings.  
  
Dorothy walked by without a sideways glance.  
  
Poor girl, the usually cheery nurse sighed beneath her breath as she watched Dorothy disappear around a corner. she seems so lost. With a quick shake of her head, and smile fixed on her pink lips, she retuned to her duties.  
  
Before she reached Upir's solemn unchanging room, Dorothy was stopped by a hand lightly falling on her shoulder. She turned slowly to face the fawn-haired doctor. His glasses were hanging from the pocket of his long white coat. His eyes looked stale and tired. Catching the dangerous gleam in Dorothy's icy stare he was quick to remove his hand, but shortly, began to speak.  
  
There's someone I would like you to meet, he said in a very matter-of-fact way. Without awaiting a response he began guiding Dorothy away from Upir's room. She protested slightly at first, but only at first. She felt, regretfully, too weak for a fight. Here we are, he said at last, stopping before a door she had never seen before. Written plainly across a small gray plaque was the name Valentine Nyman. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a silver haired man with thick defining wrinkles and rare green eyes.  
  
Doctor Hazel, he said in a rich deep voice, offering the weary eyed man a friendly nod. He turned his bright eyes on Dorothy. he rubbed his chin, the stubble of his unshaven skin rasping against his paw-like hand. and this must be the young woman you spoke of. He offered his hand which she denied without thought.  
  
Hazel spoke softly, conquering a weak yawn. Miss. Catalonia, I'd like you to talk to Doctor Nyman. Catching her slight dissatisfied frown he added quickly, Just talk to him, that's all I ask. Give it a chance. He might be able to help.  
  
Dorothy did not understand why he thought she needed help, or how this man thought he could offer such a thing, but with her will feeble from sickness and hopelessness, she said nothing and allowed herself to be herded into the small poorly lit office of Valentine Nyman.  
  
Thanks, Val. Hazel rubbed his eyes and shut the door behind him.  
  
Doctor Nyman retuned to his desk, smoothing the wrinkles from his thick burgundy sweater before easing into a noisy leather chair. Dorothy stood mere inches from the door- her posture stiff and alert.  
  
Of a water that flows,  
With a lullaby sound,  
From a spring but a very few  
Feet underground-  
From a cavern not very far  
Down under ground.  
  
Her trained eyes scanned the room quickly, over looking nothing. Not very large, and sparsely furnished, Nyman's office had a cozy sort of air. The lamps were dim, and the furniture made of rich dark woods, an emerald and plum-colored rug lie comfortably on the otherwise plain floor.  
  
Please, have a seat Miss. Catalonia.  
  
She did as she was told, but her body refused to relax, even seated in an old worn chair on the opposite side of Nyman's heavy desk. Her eyes remained harsh, though the rest of her face seemed impassive. Soon her eyes wore apathetic shadows as well.  
  
Doctor Hazel tells me you've been spending much time watching over a friend here? He spoke quizzically, shuffling through several papers.  
  
She looked at him with indifference.  
  
Would you like to tell me about her? He looked at her kindly, his voice soft and welcoming. When he noticed the glimmer of confusion playing faintly across her face he spoke again, saying simply, How did she come to be with us here?  
  
I couldn't protect her, Dorothy said without hesitation.  
  
He smiled sadly. You blame yourself for her condition? It was more of a statement really. They both already knew the answer. He read her suddenly downcast eyes as a definite yes. You know, Miss. Catalonia, you can not take the entire world upon your shoulders.  
  
She looked angry at this. How could he presume to know anything about her or what had happened? She balled her hands into tight fists in her lap but held her silence. She would not appease him with a response.  
  
He only smiled at her, making a quick mental note, and allowing the silence to hang between them until she felt ready to talk to him. They all come around, he assured himself- it just took time, and patience; though he would need a lot more than patience to deal with Dorothy Catalonia.  
  


~xXx~  


  
Dorothy had managed to maintain her apathy until Nyman was called away on another task and she was free to return to Upir without further interruption.  
  
And ah! let it never  
Be foolishly said  
That my room it is gloomy  
And narrow my bed;  
For a man never slept  
In a different bed-  
And, to _sleep_, you must slumber  
In just such a bed.  
  
_I know you're there. Even if I can't see you- I can feel you near me, like sunlight on my skin_.  
  
It hurt to see her princess this way when she could have saved her. The absence of her dark eyes was the worst of it. The loss of her thin smiles and quiet words. She never knew her ashen heart could ache so much for someone she hardly knew. Perhaps that is why the pain was so absolute- she may never have the chance.  
  
And so the night drew on, as so many nights before- with Upir's dreamless sleep and Dorothy's agonizing guilt. She could not bring herself to sleep that night.  
  


~xXx~  


  
Much time passed in the next morning before Dorothy found herself standing before a door marked, _Valentine Nyman_. She had told herself she was going to get a cup of coffee, but her feet had other plans. Now she stood at his door, silently debating whether or not to knock. She never had to make a decision. The door swung open, revealing a somewhat smug looking Nyman, though he masked it well.  
  
How can I help you, Miss. Catalonia?  
  


~xXx~  


  
The paramedics didn't think she would make it to the hospital. They thought she would die before she even left the palace.  
  
But you didn't give up on her. Nyman's voice was quiet with thought and amazement. He sat eerily still and attentive as Dorothy had unburdened her tale of times and tragedies past; though she had carefully left out the part about Erlösung being an enchanted shape shifting demon from a wishing well. Still- Nyman's head was spinning, and refusing to slow.  
  
Dorothy shook her head. I made her a promise. I need to see her free before I can say good bye. Her wiser instincts were senselessly chiding her for sharing all of this with a complete stranger, but the frightened little girl, hiding deep inside of her wanted nothing more than to pour out her sorrows and cry like she had never been allowed to.  
  
Nyman snapped slightly back into reality at this. You're going to leave her when she awakens? he nearly shouted. You think she's better off without you?  
  
Isn't she? Her words were bitter. It was not really a question, not one she wanted an answer for.  
  
So, you're just going to hover at her bedside until she wakes and tells you she'll be happier without you so you can live the rest of your life with only your shame. He raised an eyebrow at her silent confirmation, giving her an uneasy you-can't-be-serious half smile, knowing sadly that she was.  
  
My tantalized spirit  
Here blandly reposes,  
Forgetting, or never  
Regretting, its roses-  
Its old agitations  
Of myrtles and roses:  
  
Dorothy turned her eyes away from the demanding stare of his old weather-beaten face. She felt suddenly embarrassed for telling him what she had. She had always been a private person, and she knew nothing about him. There was something in his eyes, those precious green eyes full of comfort and a coaxing sort of warmth that made her feel as though she could trust him- even though she did not want to.  
  
She could never forgive me, she said suddenly, as though it explained everything.  
  
Have you tried asking her?  
  
Nyman could not help but laugh at the expression on Dorothy's face. Often times when someone wakes from a coma such as Miss. Peacecraft's, they say that they could hear what was happening around them. The doctor's diagnoses, the voices of their loved ones. I think you will sleep better if you ask her forgiveness and tell her how you feel. He smiled, distinctly satisfied with himself. And it doesn't take a doctor to see that you haven't been sleeping well Miss. Catalonia.  
  


~xXx~  


  
It was with a heavy heart and troubled mind that Dorothy returned to Upir's side. The bitter and yet logical part of her railed brutally at the merest thought of truth in what Nyman had said. And yet- that frightened little girl hiding beneath the harsh and cold flesh whispered, in a small shaking voice, _What can you lose?_   
  
For the first time since the death of her grandfather, that bantam shivering voice was heard.  
  
I never even knew I cared. Then it was too late.  
  
She drew in a long quivering breath, holding it as though rare and precious before releasing it into the quiet of Upir's hallow chamber. The air smelled of wild flowers, and pure, innocent rosebuds- so unlike the harsh chemical scent of days past. It felt somehow wrong to disturb the silence of this room. Like some sepulcher, some holy and beautiful place, where even the Angels fear the gentle word that might shatter this serene and fragile peace. Dorothy felt she had not the conviction or courage to go on.   
  
For now, while so quietly  
Lying, it fancies  
A holier odor  
About it, of pansies-  
A rosemary odor,  
Commingled with pansies-  
With rue and the beautiful  
Puritan pansies.  
  
She closed her eyes, breathing quiet, slow breaths, and searching her heart for the strength and words to speak. _Tell her you're sorry,_ begged the small uncertain voice of the child she used to be. She wanted to say it. Such simple words- but she was so afraid of what it might mean. It had been so long since she been aloud to feel anything but hunger. It had been so long since her heart had cried and wilted. If she admitted this- this guilt and shame and sorrow, what if that was all she was? She was so afraid that these unforgiving gray emotions which filled her weak and tattered heart were all she had now. How could there be room for love and happiness and such tender, fragile things?   
  
Hesitantly, she crossed the pallid floor and sat uneasily on the edge of Upir's bed. It was strange, to be this close and yet so very far away. She thought if she only called loud enough she would hear and awaken- but all the sounds of the world could not stir this frozen beauty from her melancholy slumber. With cowardly shaking fingers, Dorothy covered Upir's alabaster hand with her own. She was not nearly as warm as she had once been, curled against Dorothy's body in a vast plum-colored bed. Her tainted sleep seemed nearly tangible through the cold of her skin, like snow or Winter's lullaby rains.  
  
Her words broke from her like frantic birds, pursued by some intimidatingly large beast. Her hand tightened around Upir's, still shaking steadily with the beat of her heart. She found it suddenly hard to breath- to think- to do anything at all. There was nothing but the silence all around her, and the placid lull of Upir's shallow breaths.  
  
Dorothy closed her eyes. Fighting off the hurt and the loneliness- feeling only the soft skin of Upir's hand cradled in her own, she began softly; I don't even know where to begin. There are so many things I've wanted to say to you. She kept her eyes closed fiercely, and brought her other hand to twine with Upir's as well. Holding her pale, bloodless hand tightly, as though heaven itself. She let the words dance from her lips. Words she had left silent far too long, words which fell from her now like tears.  
  
When I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to fall in love, and live happily ever after. Her voice was weak and stained with uncried tears. That's all- and look what I've become? How could you ever love me?  
  
And so it lies happily,  
Bathing in many  
A dream of the truth  
And the beauty of Annie-  
Drown in a bath  
Of the tresses of Annie.  
  
_You're so sad, please don't hurt for me. I never wanted you to be sad. Not like this- never for me_.  
  
With her eyes closed, and her heart commanding her hushed words to fly like embers caught in the wind, Dorothy did not notice as Upir's hand twitched slightly against her own.  
  
The night you asked me to stay with you, I knew then- but I couldn't admit it, even to myself. I never imagined you might want me. And so I stayed with Bast. Dorothy shuddered slightly as the name escaped her lips. I never loved her. I thought once that I might, but I couldn't. Not when I saw you, so scared and fragile. When you looked at me with such sad eyes. I knew then that I wanted to protect you. You, and no one else. Is that love?  
  
_It was always you. You were the only one. But I was so afraid. I couldn't tell you_.  
  
I used to think love must be like pain. You know when you're in pain, it's an unmistakable feeling. I imagined love was the same- you just knew when you were in love. There were no doubts, no fears, no regrets. When I was young, I knew what I wanted, and I _knew_ that is was the most precious thing in all the universe. Her eyes burned with tears she forced away.  
  
But I'm not so sure anymore- Her voice shook, ever so softly, and as she continued, her battle against the tears was nearly lost. I couldn't let myself love you. I couldn't let myself feel at all. I was so afraid of hurting you. She laughed bitterly, fate was farcically sad. Look where that got us. I was scared, yet too proud to admit it, and you paid the dearest price- because you wouldn't let her hurt me.   
  
Dorothy raised Upir's hand to her lips and kissed her thin fingers tenderly.  
  
_Gods, if I could only hold you_.  
  
She tenderly kissed me,  
She fondly caressed,  
And then I fell gently  
To sleep on her breast-  
Deeply to sleep  
From the heaven of her breast.  
  
After the War, after everything that had happened- I thought I couldn't love at all. A sad smile crept onto her lips, lighting her eyes with hurt. But then there was you. Your sad eyes, and quiet smile. The grace in your movements, the softness of your skin. I should have known from the begging- I love you.  
  


~ flashback ~  


Dorothy Catalonia stood motionless before a long gothic window, simply staring into the night. Relena Peacecraft was dead. The Dove of Peace had been shot from the sky. Dorothy's last mission had come to an end. Now she was useless and cold as an old doll on a child's birthday, when newer and grander things steal the innocent heart, and the tattered forgotten toys are left to rot among the thorns. Her Grandfather had died before she could complete her mission. She could not tell if this faint feeling of something like relief was due to his absence, or the fact that she had not had to strike down the Dove herself. Probably both.  
  
She was free to return to the only thing the cruel old man had left her- one of many large and lonely houses. The choice was her own. Perhaps _free_ had not been the right word. Even in death the Duke still ruled her. Everything he had done, all the pain and sorrow he had given would stay with her forever. Death could not free her from his clammy hands.  
  
A soft knock on the thin wood of the door drew her from her thoughts and once more into reality. The knock was followed slowly by a small voice which begged with panic; Miss. Dorothy, come quickly.  
  
She had not the time to ask why as she heard hurried footsteps retreating. After running a thin finger along an exotic eyebrow, Dorothy left her chamber and followed after the quick sound of the withdrawing steps. She soon found herself in a majestic and dimly lit corridor, one which lead only to the throne room. Painted angels seemed to watch her with water-color eyes from the old religious paintings lining each wall. They seemed to pity her with their delicate smiles.   
  
A sudden noise in the throne room called her senses to its doors. Never knowing this moment would change her life and heart forever, she stepped across the threshold.  
  
This melancholy chamber was no brighter than the corridor she had come from. All she could see was the soft evening glow of the windows and a small gathering of people in the center of the room. They were speaking in hushed and worried tones, exchanging uneasy glances.  
  
Miss. Dorothy, one of them called hastily, catching sight of her. What do you make of this, Miss. Dorothy? he thrust a small paper towards her which she extracted with some difficulty from his clenched fist.   
  
It read simply; _Your Angel has fallen, and mine has risen from the Ashes_.  
  
She read it over several times, thinking perhaps something new might appear if she only looked harder. But that was all- one softly scrawled line, and nothing more. The words fell unnoticed to the ground as the doors flew open, as though torn by some unholy wind. And there, stood two shadows, a dark cloaked figure, and an Angel.  
  
Dorothy stood in what she thought must be disbelief as this graceful apparition took a gentle step towards her. Their eyes met, ice and fire, cloud and ruby, and they held each other's gaze for what seemed a silent eternity. Each lost in the mystery of the other. An Angel and a Monster.  
  
Then the cloaked figure began to speak. Her voice was harsh and tender all at once, a sweet and iron like Dorothy had never heard before.  
  
I have brought you my Angel.  
  


~xXx~  


  
The first time I saw you, I knew I could never have you- I knew you would never want me. Dorothy kept Upir's hand close to her lips as she spoke, covering the skin with her warm breath. When Bast brought you into my life- into the throne room, and you looked at me, so lost- so sad- I knew then. I wanted to save you from all the ugliness and pain around us.  
  
When the light was extinguished,  
She covered me warm,  
And she prayed to the angels  
To keep me from harm-  
To the queen of the angels  
To shield me from harm.  
  
_You were my salvation. Your strength, and courage- all I wanted was your embrace, soft and comforting. Warm and safe_.  
  
Dorothy pressed another tender kiss against Upir's cold skin. Had she believed in a God, she would have fallen to her knees and begged him to bring her back, to wake her from this dying slumber. She would have cursed him, and hated him when he did not. She had no one to blame but herself. If God did exist- she would never forgive him. The bitterness of the one who is left behind.  
  
With painful soft memories- old untended wounds- Dorothy lied down beside Upir, reveling in the sensations of this closeness, though she knew it was not real. She wanted nothing more than for Upir to turn her head, and look at her- into her, like she had before. With knowing, sorrow stained eyes. She kept Upir's hand in her own, drawing it close to her heart.  
  
I'm sorry- I'm so sorry, she whispered into the night, over and over again. Words were not enough- she could never hope to express this deep and agonizing heartache. There was shame, and regret, and above all else, there was love. True and unconditional. A love which never had a chance. I'm sorry.  
  
She had never felt anything like this before. In all of her life, through all of her torment, there had never been anything like this. There was a rawness in pain of physical sorts. A stabbing, an ache, a graceless ripping of serenity. In pains of failure there was a dull, stroking kind of hurt. And this- this was unlike any torture, or wound. There was an emptiness, like being lost, and a fear, as though having watched helplessly as that which you held dearest was destroyed. All this, commingled with the anguish of torn flesh. It was the woe of shattered love, and lost hope.  
  
Dorothy closed her eyes. Retreating into memories of ruby eyes and the warmth of soft uncertain touches. It was all she could do to fight back the tears though she wanted nothing more than to cry her heart dry- Gods, she wanted to cry.  
  
And I lie so composedly,  
Now, in my bed,  
(Knowing her love),  
That you fancy me dead-  
And I rest so contentedly,  
Now, in my bed  
(With her love at my breast),  
That you fancy me dead-  
That you shudder to look at me,  
Thinking me dead:-  
  
_I want to be with you- but I'm so scared. What if it's not forever? What if you can't love me like I love you? You have to promise me. Promise it's forever._  
  
Before she fell into a light and hopeless sleep, Dorothy stole a regretful glance at her princess, so still and quiet- as though chained to this one living moment. Never changing, never knowing the world still turned without her. Never feeling the warmth of these lost touches and tender kisses. It seemed a sad and unjust fate that such a pure and beautiful creature would sleep eternally without knowing the love at her side. Without ever feeling the warmth of this sacred, and wondrous heart.  
  


~xXx~  


  
She dreamt of the moon bathed, star shaded home she had seen in so many dreams before. Of morning glories, midnight fires, and the scent of roses. She saw herself lying in a bed of dew kissed grass, with all the heavens sparkling above her. She tore her eyes from the ethereal glow of the night as a thin hand slipped into her own. Turning her head, she saw Upir lying beside her. She did not turn her eyes skywards to admire the waltz of the stars, but lied on her side, facing Dorothy, admiring her instead. A gentle smile graced her lips, lighting her eyes with all the beauty of this night. Her fingers trailed along Dorothy's, as though trying to memorize the feel of there twined hands.  
  
_I miss you._ Her smile faltered slightly as her words escaped, full of sorrow and a quiet, unmasked hurt.  
  
I miss you too. Dorothy gave Upir's hand a gentle squeeze, trying to communicate her sincerity with this touch. When Upir forced another small smile, so sad and lost, Dorothy pulled her into a warm embrace, burying her face in Upir's soft tresses. The feel of Upir's quiet breaths against her skin was unlike anything she had ever felt before. Something she would treasure, and hold within her heart forever. I'm sorry- I couldn't protect you.  
  
Upir pulled back slightly, ableing herself to look into Dorothy's eyes. Her cloudy blue eyes, so different, and beautiful- not so cold and unforgiving as she had remembered. she whispered, don't be sorry. You set me free.  
  
This isn't freedom. Dorothy turned her eyes away, unable to face her Angel's sad smiles. I've made you a prisoner in your own body.  
  
That's not true. It was Upir who turned away now. Disentangling herself from Dorothy's arms, she lured herself into a sitting position. Pulling her knees towards her chin, and warping her frail arms around them, she stared off into the night, her voice soft, and stained with old tears. Tears she never had the chance to cry. I didn't want to wake up. I was so scared, her voice trailed off into the darkness, a fragile silence twirling between them for too many harsh moments. I've done it to myself.  
  
Upir was startled from her haunted memories as Dorothy's hand shadowed down her cheek. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply the feel of this touch, wishing time to linger, and capture this moment for her.  
  
Did you mean it? Upir's tone was shy and uncertain, she could not face Dorothy as she spoke. When you said you loved me- Her voice had become so soft Dorothy almost did not hear her quiet frail words.  
  
With her hand still ghosting across Upir's cheek, she silently begged her to look at her, to see her with those sad ruby eyes. And as their eyes met, she smiled a smile only Upir ever saw, saying quietly, With all of my heart. With her lips mere inches from Upir's she whispered with warm breaths against her skin, Ai shiteru. Zutto.  
  
A silent tear slipped from Upir's eyes. A tear Dorothy caught gently in her lips. It was an innocent, chaste kiss. An all too short touch, a tenderness and comfort.   
  


I promise. Dorothy soft lips trespassed sweetly over Upir's.   


  


~xXx~  


  
Dorothy woke, but did not open her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to return to the arms of sleep and of her Angel. She sent up a prayer, that she might dream eternally with her slumbering princess. She did not want to wake, if it meant she had to be alone, in a cold hospital room where she was helpless, and could only watch as sleep stole the smiles from her fallen one. It was only when the subtle sounds of slow, uncertain movements broke the silence that Dorothy opened her eyes.  
  
Sad ruby-colored eyes stared into her, mere inches away. Dorothy's very breath ceased, catching in her throat with a tiny gasp.  
  
But my heart it is brighter  
Than all of the many  
Stars of the sky,  
For it sparkles with Annie-  
  
Her voice was soft, with a hushed sort of scratching, having been unused for so long. Her thin smile was shy and nervous, like a weary ghost of what it had once been.  
  
It took Dorothy several moments, but she quickly decided that this was not a dream, but that her Angel had truly awakened. She searched for her voice, but found it had abandoned her when she most needed words. Words like _I love you_. All she managed was a weak and disappointing, You're awake.  
  
Upir offered a small nod. I'm not afraid anymore. She bit her bottom lip lightly when Dorothy would not meet her eyes.  
  
  
  
Because you promised. She coughed quietly, still unsure of her own voice.  
  
Dorothy could not trust her senses. Her eyes, her ears were only playing cruel tricks on her- they had to be. And yet, it was so real. The sound of her voice, the warmth of her body. Unable to calm her squalling mind, Dorothy muttered, for lack of better words, I should get the Doctor.  
  
Upir's hand captured Dorothy's as she tried to move from the bed, fear lighting clearly in her eyes. she begged quietly, turning her face away, meek and ashamed.   
  
I don't understand, Dorothy whispered, wanting only for Upir to look at her again- to see those eyes.  
  
She released Dorothy's hand, and curled into a small timid ball beneath the sheets. I can't be what they want anymore. She coughed again, a small pained sound. I never wanted to be their sovereign. She closed her eyes tightly, hiding from Dorothy's confused stare. They need- they deserve someone pure, someone like Relena, and I can't be her.  
  
You don't have to be, Dorothy was surprised to hear her own voice. She had not meant to say anything, but the words fell from her like so many shattered dreams. When Upir still would not look at her, she continued to speak softly, as though soothing a frightened animal, careful not to scare her back into her shell, her slumbering armour. You are so much more than anyone could ever hope for. You're gentle, and kind, compassionate and, She ran her fingertips through Upir's hair.   
  
Slowly, hesitantly, Upir raised her eyes- meeting Dorothy's warm gaze. A secret smile no one ever knew. No one but Upir.  
  
You're the only one who has ever looked at me, and seen something more than blood stains and sin. The only one who has ever even cared enough to look behind my mask, and see me. Dorothy drew her hand away from Upir's soft tresses. You're the only one who sees me. Who truly sees me.  
  
A lonely tear danced down Upir's pale cheek. I want you to see me.  
  
Dorothy could not help but jump slightly as Upir threw herself into her arms, burying her face against the crook of her neck. With her arms warped tightly around her, breathing in the scents so uniquely hers, she whispered against her fiery skin, I can't stay here.  
  
Dorothy's mind filled with doubts and arguments. Upir could not leave- her country needed her, she was the Dove of Peace. She could not simply run away. But those eyes, those nebulous, beautiful eyes, full of hurt and sorrow- she could not refuse them.  
  
It glows with the light  
Of the love of my Annie-  
With the thought of the light  
Of the eyes of my Annie.  
  
Where do you want to go?


	2. Cherry

lullaby, sweet dorothy  
by poe nataku  


  
  
Part two: cherry  


  
  
Later that night, when the old nurse came to shoo Dorothy from Upir's cold sterile chamber, she found she had already gone- and so had the princess.  
  
Stay with me, I'll set you free  
'Cause I can tell you once were pretty  
  
Summer's winds, cool, night kissed winds, danced through her hair, twirling it round the dark. The steady purring of the engine, along with the lullaby sounds of Upir's rhythmic breathing haunted her senses as she drove down nameless, forgettable roads and through quaint moon dappled towns. Seemingly little time had passed when Upir had fallen into the embrace of a deep, dreamless sleep. She lie now, curled across the front seat of the car with her head resting gently in Dorothy's lap. But Dorothy would not stop driving- not until she was satisfied with the distance created between them and the Sanc Kingdom. Doubtless, their disappearance had been discovered and the search had begun.  
  
Upir stirred slightly in her sleep, drawing Dorothy's attention away from uncertain, worried thoughts which had taken to racing through her. Hours had passed and dawn would come all too soon.  
  
When she reached the next town, Dorothy found a small timeworn motel where she and Upir could rest without fear of being recognized. Somewhere they could let their guard down long enough to breath. She woke Upir only after paying the tattered, rude owner, and locating their room. Though in the end, she carried the weary princess through the parking lot. Upir had always been frail, but her strength now was not even a shade of what it had been. In illness, she had lost far too much weight, and even in waking, was tired as if she had not slept in ages. She was a ghost of the girl she had been- and yet, she was still there, hiding, peering out from within those fiery eyes.  
  
Sickness, time, and pain could not steal the softness from her skin, or the strength from her soul. There was a conviction, a gentle sort of courage in her every movement. A grace and power. Elegance and honor.  
  
Upir scarcely moved at all as Dorothy lied her down on the squeaky old bed of the musty, poorly decorated room. But as Dorothy moved to leave her, she sat up slightly, catching her hand in her own. Her eyes were tender and pleading, though slumber dusted and fatigued. This time, no words were needed. She did not have to ask her to stay. Dorothy crawled onto the aged bed and welcomed Upir into her arms, where they both drifted into a gentle and much needed sleep.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Morning came swiftly, and though consciousness was undesired, it was easy prey. Dorothy drew in a slow and deep breath, coveting Upir's scents- like roses and lavender embraced by a cool summer rain.  
  
I wish that we could stay this way forever. Her voice was soft, and uncertain as she whispered against the warmth of Upir's cheek. The quiet, tender words caught in the heavy air of the old room, dancing their secret lament and fading away without ever being heard. There was an unmasked sadness in her eyes as she slipped away from the encircling arms of her princess and into the thin beams of light cast by the dirty window.  
  
She sat there a long time, simply staring past the soiled panes of glass and into the perfect blue of the skies.   
  
The delicate sounds of weary movements and a name whispered on the boundaries of slumber tore the blond assassin from her memories. Good morning, she whispered without raising her eyes. She knew all too well the sight that lingered behind her. She had dreamt of times like this- turning from a sun dappled memory to behold Upir, lying on a bed of satin with that secret smile. A smile that belonged to Dorothy alone. She would imagine herself moving to sit on the edge of the bed, bending to steal a kiss from those soft plum-colored lips.  
  
Dorothy chided herself for stumbling into fantasies.  
  
Good morning, Upir replied quietly, her voice slightly muffled by the thin musty pillow. Her eyes remained closed as she drew a deep breath and stretched her sore limbs.  
  
They stayed that way for what seemed an eternity. Upir, with her eyes closed, hiding within herself. And Dorothy, motionless before the judgment of the radiant morning sun. So like the morning glories, curled within their own skins, each held still by the fear of this unspoken question on both their tongues. _Where do we go from here?'_   
  
Dorothy could not help but wonder if Upir now regretted her decision. Did she hate her now for stealing her away in a foolish moment of spontaneity? Had she not meant it at all? With a quiet sigh and breaking heart Dorothy readied herself for the inevitable- for Upir to ask to be taken back, and left- alone.   
  
They'll come after me. Upir spoke as though she were a solitary creature. She did not expect a reply, and so, when she did not get one, she continued without disappointment. They'll never stop looking. They'll come to take me back- I was never meant to be free. She opened her eyes, turning her gaze to her silent companion.  
  
I know, was all she could think to say. She bit her bottom lip, waiting for the fatal blow to be delivered- but it never came.  
  
I've never been to the colonies. I've lived my whole life in one place. She kept her lucid gaze fixed on Dorothy, a soft sort of curiosity playing in her red eyes. I think I'd like to see them.  
  


. * . * .  


  
A short, cheery faced man with dusty blond hair and a name tag which said simply, accepted the papers handed to him with a bright smile. He quickly scanned each document and handed them back. There you go Miss. Winter, he said with another festive smile and little nod to the woman before him.  
  
she said quietly with a little nod of her own. With her free hand, she adjusted her sun glasses, running delicate fingers along an exotic eyebrow.  
  
Enjoy your flight!  
  
She nodded again, and left the exuberant Ricky to his oh so _important_ work. With an instinctive glance around, she sat down beside a frail girl with wondrous red hair, bound in two braids. They wont be able to track us? she asked, worry clear in her whisper.  
  
My grandfather was, at one time, the leader of the Romefellar foundation. She shivered slightly as she spoke of him. He had several bank accounts and passports made up for me when I needed to disappear. She handed Upir an envelope, inside was a passport and a ticket to outer space. Are you sure about this? Dorothy removed her sun glasses, fixing Upir with a stare softly pleading for an answer.  
  
Upir nodded. I want to be free.  
  
Dorothy smiled slightly- so slightly no one else would have even noticed- but Upir caught that smile with needy eyes, to treasure it always.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Exhausted from travel, from thought, from the simple act of breathing- Dorothy fell into a fitful dream moments after boarding the shuttle and fastening her seat belt.  
  
With her knees drawn against her chest, and her head resting softly upon them, Upir watched Dorothy slumber. She looked so peaceful, so serene and tranquil- like a child, sleeping the innocent sleep of one without a care in the world. But she knew better. Knew that beneath that slumbering lid lie the tormented eyes of a girl with the heaviest of hearts and deepest of scars.  
  
Rose so sad you've lost your petals  
Lost the luster off your tattle tales   
  
Upir smiled sadly, wishing she only knew how to make Dorothy happy. As the Dove of Peace, she had caused more pain than joy- more death than good. How could she ever make that right? How could she ever be forgiven?   
  
When stripped of their feverish pretenses, they were the same- broken-hearted, moon-disregarded, and wanting only to be loved. To make things right again.  
  


. * . * .  


  
  
  
Yes, Beloved?  
  
Have you ever been in love?  
  
The innocent question seemed to catch her guardian by surprise. Red eyes narrowed thoughtfully, as Erlösung's sleek ebony ears flattened against the thick fur of her head. And why, little one, do you ask such a question? I love you- you know that. She tilted her head slightly, greedily drinking all the loveliness cast by Upir. I love you- Till death.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Upir woke with an old fear dancing in her bottomless ruby eyes. A fear and despair she thought she had escaped, but there was no freedom for her sleeping mind. It was when her heart slipped into unconsciousness that the Beast renewed her claim on the sad-eyed princess. In dreams Upir would belong to Erlösung always- loved to the death.  
  
Her breathing slowed from a rapid frightened pace, to a peaceful summer's breeze as her eyes fell on the girl beside her. There was a sense of security, and home radiating from the seemingly cold exterior of Dorothy. Upir knew she was safe the moment she clamped eyes on her. Her Dorothy- her everything. The sadness returned to her pale features as she beheld her still. She was like an angel, fallen- but still unearthly. Her fair hair, and pallid eyes whispered a melancholy ballad of shattered drams and stolen innocence. But even with the luster fading, and the child broken, she was beautiful- beautiful and oh so far away.  
  
What were you dreaming about? Dorothy did not turn to behold her princess as she spoke. Upir wore a small smile, wondering how long Dorothy had been awake.  
  
Old wounds, she said in a whisper.  
  
Dorothy offered a shallow nod, but would not face her. She kept her body rigid as she sat, facing the aisle of the small shuttle. Her eyes tracing every sight except that of Upir. she said after an awkward silence heard so often it was now familiar. Her voice remained low and emotionless, despite her concern. She knew that all she could do for her ashen dove now was set her free. And when she was free, she would have no use for such a monster- for a bloodied soldier.  
  
And in that knowledge, there was no freedom for Dorothy Catalonia.  
  


. * . * .  


  
After the shuttle landed, and the hushed companions found themselves again lost in a crowd of nameless, faceless travelers, each realized their anxiety melting away. No one recognized this bloodless Peacecraft, or scourged Romefellar. They were as plain and forgettable as anyone there, and that much closer to freedom.  
  
They took a cab from the bustling port to a small bed and breakfast on the outskirts of the city. The ride passed in silence, much as everything else had, for what could the lamentable really have to sat to each other. It was not until they had settled in their quaint, lily-scented room that Dorothy shattered their mourning quiet when she asked simply, What now?  
  
At this, Upir seemed to pale, the sun in her nebulous eyes turning back to melancholy moon. She tried to cling to her composure, though all she could think was; _This is good bye, this is where she leaves me_. Bantam tears struggled to break from the dungeons of her control. She knew Dorothy would abandon her now. She had paid any debt she had owned- she had stolen her away from her kingdom and now, would set her free.  
  
You set me free.  
  
Dorothy braced herself for what she knew would come next- Upir would thank her again, and then ask her to leave. She did not need her anymore. She did not _want_ her anymore. Her hands balled into fists at her sides as she awaited this good bye.  
  
I suppose you are free as well.  
  
Upir closed her eyes, she did not want to watch as Dorothy disappeared. She had lost too many people she held dear. First her real parents, then Guin and Li- Grey, and even Erlösung went away in the end. She feared her heart could not survive this again. All she ever wanted was to be loved, to love someone more than life its self. All she wanted was for Dorothy to stay.  
  
I suppose so, Dorothy whispered through the hurt threatening to tear her heart to pieces. Good bye, my princess. And then, she was gone.  
  
Had she turned to look back, she would have seen the agony of an earth stricken dove's tears. She would have know the searing pain of the unquenchable sobs racking the frail body of the only one she had ever loved.  
  
_How do you know when you're in love, Erlösung?  
  
It is unlike anything else, little one. There is pain, and sorrow, and a tormenting euphoria one can not explain or deny._  
  
Dorothy took each step away from her princess as though a step away from all that is beautiful, and towards death itself. The dim glow of the hope she had carried, a hope that Upir would ask her to stay, was extinguished. She was left utterly alone- lost in her memories.  
  
_Would you die for love, little one? Would you sacrifice everything?_  
  
Upir curled into a small armored ball where she had fallen. She hugged herself tightly, as though only the ferocity of her own hold could keep her from slipping into oblivion. The light, the health had faded again from her skin, leaving her livid and empty.  
  
_Would you cry a thousand times, and die a thousand deaths for that which you treasure beyond yourself?_  
  
Dorothy pulled what strength she could from the violence she had suffered at her grandfather's hands- it was her last defense against the tears. Against the anguish burning through her. She reached the exit, curled a shaking hand around the door's handle, and walked away from her very heart- from her princess.  
  
_Could you, Beloved? Could you turn your tears to strength and fight for love? Could you bleed your own heart to awaken another's?_  
  
And in her farewell; Good bye, sweet princess- there was nothing but pain and sorrow, loneliness and hurt. Dorothy cursed her own soul, damned herself to eternity's flames. Had she only been able to see Upir as more than a crown- had she only been able to return what little affections this dove had bestowed upon her, there would be no good bye, and she truly would be free.  
  
  
  
All she had now were the memories of hollow embraces and wasted touches- the sound of her name falling from Upir's lips as though a liquesent star of the midnight skies. She closed her eyes, crying without tears, and she could almost hear the soft sounds of her own name being spoken, one last time.  
  
  
  
These next minutes lived much like a dream. There was breath, and sight and sound, and yet- there was nothing. As though all time chained this one bleeding moment for them. Dorothy turned back, her movements involuntary but fated. Upir held to the frame of the small inn's door, looking so terribly small and alone.  
  
Please don't leave me- Her voice was small, and stained with tears. There was so little strength left in her frail shell, and yet somehow, she released the door's frame and took several steadfast steps towards her bloodied angel. She reached to her then, her hand quivering with the strain of each movement.  
  
Dorothy drew a sharp breath. She distrusted her eyes- how could this scene really be playing out before her? She beheld her princess, reaching to her, _needing_ her- but she could not trust this sight. How could Upir want to hold such a monster? All thought was lost then, as Upir's last magic failed her and she fell towards the ground, weightless as the seraphs. But impact never came- before Upir had even realized she had fallen, she opened her eyes to find herself cradled in Dorothy's arms.  
  
You believed in me once, she said, strengthening their embrace. could you find it in your heart to believe in me again? She brushed a stray curl away from Upir's eyes, this tenderness saying so much more than words ever could.  
  
_____I need a love to help me find my way  
_____I need a strength that I cannot betray  
_____I need a word to say what I can't say  
I need a lover, lover. I need a lover, lover  
  
I never stopped, Upir coughed, the color fading from her skin. I just needed to touch you- to feel your hearts beat. To know that you're real, and here with me. Each breath pained her, each word tearing at the borders of darkness until her eyes drifted shut, with four words hanging from the last strains of her battle with unconscious. I love you, Dorothy.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Her eyes crept open slowly, afraid of what may be awaiting them, but there was only darkness. Deep, endless darkness. She knew then that never was longer- emptier, and oh, so much more painful than eternity.  
  
She pressed her cool hands against her eyes, a small pitiful sob escaping her bloodless lips. She had lost it all- Dorothy had gone, along with all that is wondrous and light.  
  
she heard the name dance into the frigid air without having meant to say it. And then, something remarkable happened; a silken, soft hand caressed the tears from her cheek, and a familiar voice whispered, I'm here,  
  


. * . * .  


  
Upir awoke to a morning bathed in warmth and beauty. This tremulous light cascaded through the open windows with the robin's song and flutter of newborn clouds. She breathed deeply the sent of this bright morning. Making a memory to withstand the battles of time. She wanted to know this dawn always. Her sleeping face, so like a rose. Slumbering beside her, angelic features losing their sadness and worry. She looked truly at peace. Free.  
  
She brushed her thin bangs away from her closed eyes, their nebulous secrets hidden from the world. Reveling in this tomorrow when bliss was be their own, Upir curled herself against Dorothy- a perfect fit. All the pain vanished with the feel of her heart's beat so close to her own, holding her safe and warm.  
  
"I love you," she whispered, knowing somehow she would hear her through this enchanted sleep. "I love you."  
  


. * . * .  


  
With the passing of new days, and the beauties of new love, Upir and Dorothy found themselves living in a moon bathed, star shaded home, so like the home Dorothy had cherished in so many lonely dreams. But she was not lonely any more.  
  
Upir allowed the book she had been reading to slip from her fingers and tumble carelessly onto the floor as warm hands encircled her from behind. She leaned into the embrace, her head resting against Dorothy's shoulder.  
  
How are you feeling? Dorothy asked, her voice slightly muffled by Upir's hair as she buried her face in the velvet folds of her curls, treasuring the soft scents of each lock.  
  
Upir replied absently as she raised a hand to stroke Dorothy's cheek. The doctors say I've nearly recovered, and should be good as new within a month. She turned slightly, ableing herself to look into Dorothy's crystalline eyes. They seemed bluer now, softer. All the pain and anger had melted away, leaving her even more beautiful than before. How was work?  
  
At this, Dorothy sighed, and released Upir. She sat beside her on the couch and rested her head in Upir's lap. She closed her eyes as she felt Upir run her fingers gently through her hair. Painfully long, she said finally. I hate that I have to spend so much time away from you.  
  
Upir continued to weave her finger's through Dorothy's hair, saying softly, I hate it too, but we would draw too much attention to ourselves if we lived in this house without any sort of income. Dorothy sighed again, but was content. She knew Upir was right. All though her grandfather had left her enough money to live a hundred lavish lives, she could not simply live off his estate. Even though she and Upir had been using what the Duke had left behind, they had to handle the money through the account of one of Dorothy's aliases. If the money could be traced, and someone were to find them, this tiny paradise they had built together would be shattered and Upir would be caged again- nothing more than a fallen kingdom's Dove.  
  
They lived simple lives here. No more red-eyed monsters in the darkness, no more political responsibilities, no more death. Upir stayed home mostly, regaining her strength, and recovering her health while Dorothy worked a remedial job at a small art gallery. She had always been fond of art, there was a certain secret- a history and a tale to each piece. It was quiet job, where no one asked questions, unless of course, they were about the merchandise.  
  
At last, this ashen princess and her cloud-eyed angel were free.  
  


. * . * .  


  
_BEEP!_  
  
Wufei sat bolt-upright in his bed, throwing the covers, and an extremely startled cat to the floor as he reached instinctively for his katana.  
  
_BEEP!_  
  
he swore under his breath as he identified his would-be attacker as nothing more than an incoming mission. Relena quickly regained her composure after her impromptu tumble, a groggy, yet threatening sound escaping her. Wufei offered her a small apologetic smile, but nothing more as he hastily read over the details of his new mission.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Upir jumped slightly, and dropped the mug she had been washing as the doorbell shattered the silence of her afternoon. Thin shards of glass flew through the air- imbedding themselves in Upir's alabaster skin. A quiet cry broke from her as the bell rang again, and an impatient hand pounded against the door.  
  
With much effort, and a shallow pain ebbing at the corners of her conciseness, Upir opened the door. What greeted her was a complete stranger holding a bouquet of white roses.   
  
Miss. Billie? he demanded in a rough voice.  
  
She nodded, a soft polite nod, and offered a slight smile though the glass still bit at her delicate skin with its tiny vampiric teeth.  
  
After twisting his lips in an insincere smile, the man thrust the bouquet into her arms and sauntered out of view. Upir blinked- left speechless and stunned by this strange man and his flowers. Forgetting the hurt bleeding from fresh wounds, Upir opened the small card nestled among the petals.  
  
An agonizing scream caught in her throat as the roses fell to the ground- the bantam card still clutched in her frail hand. _Till Death_, the little note said, and nothing more.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Dorothy found herself unable to repress an audible sigh as yet another funeral-march hour crept by. Time seemed to slow, and crawl as though wounded within the wilting, poorly ventilated gallery. She tapped her fingers lightly on the old wood of the counter, wishing only for closing time to come before the waiting killed her. She smirked slightly as the telephone rang, providing her a welcomed distraction. She answered with a polite, yet emotionless hello, but was soon smiling jovially as she recognized Upir's voice.  
  
she asked, somewhat breathlessly. did you send these roses?  
  
Dorothy arched an exotic eyebrow. No, I didn't.  
  
No more than a second passed between Dorothy's denial of the roses and the frightened tortured sound that poured from Upir's soul.  
  
What's wrong? Dorothy asked, put in an instant panic by the cry which escaped her princesse's soft lips. She knew this sound all too well- it was a hopeless sound, made only when there is in fact only darkness at the end of the tunnel.  
  
Can you come home? was the whispered reply. I need you.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Dorothy had hardly closed the door when Upir threw her arms around her, burying her face against the hollow of Dorothy's throat. Dorothy returned the embrace, clinging to Upir as though she might vanish if she let her slip. What happened? she asked, still unwilling to part with this embrace.  
  
Upir's only response was a quiet sob, and the subtle movements of her body against Dorothy's- pressing herself as close as she could get without disappearing within her.  
  
_____What are we waiting for?  
_____What are we waiting for?  
_____Time has lost its hold on me  
  
Dorothy did not know exactly how long they stayed that way- silent, and simply holding each other, but after what seemed forever, Upir pulled back slightly and handed Dorothy a small crumpled note. This came today, with three dozen white roses. She shivered, curling herself against Dorothy again. White is for innocence, and secrets. But sometimes innocence is shattered, and secrets that were never meant to be, come back to destroy you. Dorothy felt one of Upir's hot tears dance onto her throat.  
  
Oh Gods-  
  


. * . * .  


  
With a disgruntled cat in one hand, and several sheets of paper in the other, Wufei crept silently down the hallway. He stopped in front of Duo's door and knocked softly. When there was no response, he knocked harder. He was not worried about waking the others- Heero was away on a mission, and Quatre and Trowa's room was at the other end of the hall. And so, losing patience, Wufei pounded on the door until a sleepy-eyed Duo honored him with his presence.  
  
Before questions or greetings could be voiced, Wufei stated simply; We've got trouble. Which Duo, reading the expression on the other pilots face, knew must be serious, and invited him in.  
  
After closing the door behind them, Duo sat on the edge of the bed, Wufei taking a seat beside him, and Relena again found her way into Wufei's lap. There have been three suspicious deaths in the Sanc Kingdom, Wufei said, handing the papers he held to Duo. The first death coincides with a fire in Upir's garden. At this, Duo looked up from the documents he had been looking over- his curiosity written plainly in his eyes.  
  
The well was destroyed.  
  
They were all silent for some time. Neither of them willing to break this quiet left in the wake of Wufei's last simple statement.  
  
She's back? Duo asked quietly, fearing his very words might draw the Beast from her grave. Wufei only nodded.  
  
I have to go, Wufei said, not meeting Duo's eyes. My orders are to go to Sanc, find, and destroy the murderer if political ties can be made. They think it's wanting war. He met Relena's worried stare with a light smile, and began to pet her silken fur with gentle hands.  
  
Have they found Upir and Dorothy?  
  
  
  
Duo stood, and began rummaging around the small room. That's where she'll go. She wont stop until she's found Upir. He stuffed several items into a small duffle bag, and scrawled a short note which he left on the desk. _We'll_ go to Sanc, you track the Beast- I'll look for the Princess.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Upir cast the tears from her eyes, drawing on a strength she had hoped she would never have need of again. A strength which grew from the darkness in every hurt within her- a strength born of tortures suffered at the hands of a monster. What are we going to do? she asked in a soft, somber voice. A tone of foreseen defeat and shadow.  
  
Dorothy was quiet for some time, simply holding Upir in her arms. She had failed her princess once- and she vowed then, never again. She would fight, and die, if only to keep Upir from a semblance of pain and sorrow.  
  
I don't know, she closed her eyes- breathing in every sensation, every sound and scent of Upir. but I wont let her harm you.  
  
I'm not afraid for myself.  
  
Dorothy pulled back slightly, cradling Upir's face in her hands. A lonely tear fell from those wondrous ruby eyes, cascading down Upir's soft bloodless cheek and onto Dorothy's gentle fingers. Dorothy kissed away the warm trail left by the tear, whispering tenderly; I will never leave you, my Princess. Believe in me, believe that I love you, and Death itself could never keep me from you.  
  
Upir closed her eyes, new tears finding their way down her pale cheeks. Everyone I have ever loved has gone away. She opened her eyes, staring straight into Dorothy. I can not lose you too.  
  
I promise you, Dorothy said quietly, slipping a thin silver band, adorned only by a small blue pearl from her finger- a ring which was all she had of a mother she had never known. we will never say goodbye. Saying this, she slid the ring onto Upir's finger, and sealed her promise with a kiss.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Though his face remained void of expression- and his voice empty of emotion, a feeling of great frustration welled just beneath the surface of Chang Wufei. Returning to his hotel room after their third day in the Sanc Kingdom, he allowed himself to collapse into the nearest chair and release a long suppressed growl from the back of his throat. He pulled a sleek cell phone from the inner pocket of his coat and dialed aggressively. After exchanging simple greetings, Wufei slipped back into soldier mode.  
  
Have you found the Princess?  
  
Duo replied with a sigh. And I don't have a single lead- and these hospital people are really starting to creep me out.  
  
Not exactly what you'd call helpful, ne?  
  
Duo snorted. You know what they say; ask three squirrels, you get four lies.  
  
I suppose we shouldn't expect much from them. Upir's doctor was the most recent murder. Even if someone knew something, they're undoubtedly too scared to come forward.  
  
Yeah, yeah. Duo scoffed. Everyone speaks highly of ol' Doc. Hazel, but no one wants to say anything about what happened to him.  
  
Coroner's report said he was torn to pieces.  
  
And I'm sure it uses those very words, Duo giggled. Was that your medical opinion Dr. Fei?  
  
  
  
Any luck on your end of things? Duo asked quizzically, instantly shrugging off Wufei's little insult. At this point it was more of a pet-name really.  
  
Not exactly. Wufei covered his eyes with his hand. No one has heard or seen anything. The fire _was_ arsine, but the exact cause is undetermined. We have three casualties- a gardener, who was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A high ranking guard, who was probably full of useful, and classified information. And Dr. Hazel. Wufei sighed quietly. I'm no closer to finding the Beast than I was when we arrived. She's covered her tracks- and if theirs anyone who can find Dorothy and Upir, it's her.  
  
We'll just have to concentrate on finding them first. Duo said, sounding determined. Gimme a few more minutes here, and then I'll meet you back at the hotel.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Dorothy, tormented by anxiety, packed hastily. A large bag, filled only with the essentials, was then thrown into the back seat of her car. There was no time for forgotten clothes or books- no room for all that they had acquired for themselves in these past, uneventful months.  
  
Upir watched from her place on the couch. She felt oddly calm, peaceful and serene, considering what had so recently transpired. All she could think to do was stare at the thin band which now adorned her pale finger. The small pearl seemed to glimmer, and smile where it sat, perched on the otherwise plain silver ring. There were so many thoughts to think- so many words to speak. Yet all she could do was watch silently as the soft lights danced just beneath the surface of the pearl.  
  
  
  
She looked up when Dorothy said her name, curious at the way she could speak such a small word with so much meaning, and beauty.  
  
Let's go.  
  
Not another word was spoken as they made there way to the car, or from the small sleepy town they had called home. _Home_. A word so unfamiliar and treasured all at once. Dorothy wondered if she would ever know this word again. Wondered if her princess would ever truly be free. And silently beside her, Upir knew, in her heart of hearts, that she never would be.   
  


. * . * .  


  
Swallowed in the darkness of a moon less night, shrouded in shadow and rage, the Beast lie in wait. Gathering her strength, allowing the anger to fester and bleed into every vein and pore, infecting her with wrath and decay. She waited. Waited for the perfect moment to strike and reclaim what had been hers all along. She would not be denied. Not again.  
  
Her vision clouded red as her thoughts fell upon the blonde assassin. While she healed and toiled here, Romefellar's daughter had possession of her princess- and the Beast did not like to share.  
  
_____Hatred sleeps inside my bones  
_____In the stillness of cool air  
  
The time would come, soon enough- and she would lick the warm, living blood of Dorothy Catalonia from her hands. She would revel in the feel of that broken body beneath her fingers. The scent of death, the emptiness of the eyes, the taste of each and every wound. She would steal Dorothy's last breath with her own agony moistened lips.  
  
Growing strong, and vengeful. Biding time, and dreaming of death on her hands. The Beast was waiting- simply waiting.  
  


. * . * .  


  
In the time it took for Wufei to shower and change his rumpled clothing, Duo had returned. He sat bonelessly in the chair Wufei had collapsed in upon his own return. The solitary dragon found his lips caught in a small secret smile as he approached his companion.  
  
I imagine this will become a more difficult task than we had both thought, Wufei commented quietly as he finished buttoning the crisp white shirt he wore. Duo regarded him sleepily- as did the small honey-colored cat nestled partly in his oversized sweater's pocket. I'll have something to eat sent up, he said, swallowing another smile. As an afterthought he added softly, Is there anything in particular that you would like?  
  
Duo heaved a dramatic sigh. he laughed dryly.  
  
Wufei snorted. And for Mab?  
  
Duo lowered his eyes momentarily to the kitten in his pocket. I doubt room service'll have cat food on hand. Wufei could not tell if Duo had been addressing him, the cat, or simply thinking aloud. I don't think we're even supposed to bring any pets in here. He stroked the cat fondly, communicating some simple emotion with touch and a gentle glance. Get a glass of milk and something fishy.  
  
As Wufei disappeared into one of the suite's bed chambers Duo moved to stroke the cat in his lap again.  
  
_We're no closer to finding them than we were in the beginning,_ said Relena with a breaking heart. She knew somehow that Upir had not been kidnapped. She had run away, just like Relena herself had wanted to do so very many times. She rubbed at her kitty-cat eyes with a velvety paw. Now was not the time for tears.  
  
I know. Duo's voice was quiet and oddly detached. He resumed his ministrations, the tender contact calming them both.  
  
_What if we're too late?_ She loathed the thought as she spoke it. All the same a shiver ran through her, feeding her fears. _What if that monster finds her first?_  
  
Duo opened his mouth to respond, but closed it quickly as Wufei reemerged from his dim room. He offered Relena a tiny smile of comfort and reassurance but it could not help, and they both knew it.  
  


. * . * .  


  
They drove for hours. Or maybe, mere seconds had passed- she could not remember. Time was of little consequence. No matter what they did, there was going to be too little. Time was not as friendly as she had once thought. She wanted to scream until her throat ached. Cry until she withered. Thrash until she bled. But all she could do was stare at her hands- at the tiny pearl Dorothy had given her.  
  
Upir had woken to a world so changed from the one which had caused her to retreat within herself. Pushed her into a fear induced slumber. A glass like peace had begun to grow between countries which had once sworn plague upon each other. War was melting away, as though snow before the caress of the summer sun. But most of all, she had found a gentle Angel waiting by her side. Fallen, bloodied, earth stricken, but an Angel still, and her own.  
  
What changed you so much? It was a question that's answer she had been burning for, but had been too afraid to ask. Perhaps afraid was not the right word. She did not understand what had tamed the blonde assassin, but that did not mean she had not been overcome with happiness for the Dorothy who so wanted her. She stole a shy glance in Dorothy's direction when she did not answer immediately.  
  
Dorothy whispered into the silence which claimed the air between them.  
  
  
  
Dorothy nodded simply, as though it all made perfect sense. And to her, it did.  
  
I was a monster. She gave Upir a look which begged for a moment to explain as the princess made a sound to argue. I killed for power, for honor, for pride. But never my own. For a time it was all I had. It was a drug- a release. She could not meet Upir's pleading eyes as she spoke such unforgiving words. There was a time when I ached for nothing more than the hunt. For the kill. And then there was you. She bit her bottom lip lightly, still unable to raise her eyes from where they had fallen, intent on observing every wrinkle of the road before her. Even when I was harsh and distant, you made me see the beauties and frailties of the world- and myself. I couldn't protect that. I couldn't protect you, and it all came crashing down. Everything I had wanted to be- everything my grandfather had made me- every word and smile you had ever given me. I had failed you, and that hurt more than any pain I have ever known.  
  
Upir found herself so taken by Dorothy's words- so struck with the emotion and conviction in her voice, that all she could think to say was; You didn't really answer my question.  
  
Dorothy smiled that rare secret smile. A smile only for Upir. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that, seeing you hurt and knowing that I could have prevented it- it made me fall apart. She turned then to catch Upir's eyes with her own. You have pieced me back together again. Your kindness, your care, and every wonderful thing that makes you who you are, has made me someone who can love you, like you love me.  
  
Upir made a quiet whimpering sound, unable to utter a single syllable.  
  
But the most amazing thing of all, Dorothy whispered as though trusting her with some grave secret. is that you loved me when no one could. You loved me before I fell apart. That's what changed me. Because of you, I fought for the girl I could have been without the war- without anger, pain, and death. The girl you somehow saw all along. Your blind love for someone so undeserving of affection as me, made me want to be someone who deserved it. Who deserved you. She turned away and asked softly, Does that answer your question?  
  
Still not trusting her voice, Upir nodded and edged closer to Dorothy. She pressed gently against her, wanting to smell her smells and feel her heat and skin and breath. She wanted to be with her- inside her always.  
  
I love you Upir. For everything you are- and for everything you've made me want to become again. You've given me the second chance I'd always thought impossible.  
  
Upir closed her eyes fiercely. She almost convinced herself that there was nothing in the world except her and Dorothy, and this moment. In this moment, she almost believed that everything would be all right. That love would conquer all, and she would win her freedom. Her eternity- with her Angel at her side. And for a moment, she was free.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Dinner stayed so long, despite the fact that no one was hungry. The muted television cast a dim parade of artificial light across their faces as the picture flew from news reports to commercials, and back again. Duo played absentmindedly with his pasta, twirling the fat noodles around his fork but never lifting them to his lips. His mind led him in great circles around this one frustratingly unanswerable question. _Where the hell is Upir?_ Sighing pointedly, he let the ill used utensil slip from his fingers and clunk dully upon the small table.  
  
Not raising his eyes from his own neglected meal, Wufei rubbed the bridge of his nose. Speaking with a calm, calculated voice he ventured a guess, You're not hungry?  
  
My, aren't we a smart one? Duo lulled with a roll of his eyes.  
  
Relena pinned Duo with a warning stare. And though Wufei seemed put off by the sarcasm he received, deep within him self, a smirk was fighting for control of his thin stoic lips. You're going to need your strength, if tomorrow proves to be anything like today that is. Feeling the lack of appetite himself, Wufei forced a small bit of rice past his teeth.  
  
Duo heaved another dramatic sigh, but returned his attention to the dish before him. He lifted his fork, but lowered it again, forgetting food entirely as a curious thought assaulted him. What about Dermail?  
  
Wufei caught him with an inquisitive glance from beneath his lashes.  
  
Dorothy hasn't worked a day in her life, and I doubt Upir happened to have the kind of money they'd need on her. That leaves her grandpa's estate. He mumbled something reminiscent of exasperation as he scanned the blank expressions of his companions. Continuing with a forced patience he clarified, Obviously, she can't handle the money through her own accounts, but that doesn't mean she isn't using one of his.  
  
_Do you think she had something set up for a time like this?_ Relena asked, tilting her head from one side to the other. _She's a clever and resourceful person, Duo. You would never be able to trace it._  
  
Dermail was careless, he explained. Dorothy can cover her tracks from here on out, but I'd bet the Duke left a paper trail a mile long. If we could even get a name- an alias, we'd be that much closer to finding them.  
  
said Wufei with an air of annoyance and impatience, we can just follow the bodies. Returning sound to the television, he gestured stiffly towards the story playing out before them.  
  
_____All the boys have been left for dead  
_____'Cause we go where they fear to tread  
  
_Terror strikes L2 as another unidentifiable body is discovered in a downtown florist's._  
  


. * . * .  


  
Switching off the obtrusive radio, Dorothy buried her face in her hands. She's lighting the way, she said dismally, forcing the words past shielding fingers. there wont be anywhere left to hide.  
  
How did she find us? Upir cried, unable to steal the anguish from her voice. Swallowing tormented tears, she fell hopelessly beside Dorothy, curling herself tightly against the silent assassin. Why is she haunting us?  
  
Wilting at the sounds of Upir's melancholy innocence- the heart broken questioning, and tear stained skin- Dorothy gathered the frail princess into her battle-weary arms. The embrace was absolute- guarding and secure. _Home_. She can not harm us, Love. Nothing can tear me from you. I'll never let you go.  
  


. * . * .  


  
It's too easy, Duo voiced again. She'd never be this careless.  
  
She _is_ being this careless, Wufei pointed out dully. Even if we're being led as part of her grand design we have to give chase. He passed his hand over Relena's slumbering form in his lap. She wants us to follow her.  
  
Duo toyed absently with the end of his braid.   
  
At this Wufei shrugged. Perhaps to be done with us once and for all. Maybe she has in fact lost her touch and is not leading us purposefully. Brow creasing, and voice sobering softly he added, as though to himself, Or it's all another game. She's playing us forward to leave the princess with no other choice.  
  
No choice but. . . ? Duo pressed quizzically, but with great finesse.  
  
Turning to face the curious American fully he said simply, No choice but to return to her.  
  
Duo chewed his bottom lip, lightly nodding his agreement. She'll force Upir to play by her rules. He grinned maniacally then, saying simply, That kills us all.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Why do you love me?  
  
Because you are mine, and I am yours.  
  
The child rolled onto her stomach, taking her eyes from the cotton-candy clouds of the crisp spring sky, and fixing them on her guardian with a translucent look of loss. Only for that? she asked with a tumbling heart and fallen lashes. If I hadn't found you- if it had been someone else, you would love them instead?  
  
I could not have loved you if I never knew you, Child, said the guardian with sympathetic smiles. But don't you see? Fate brought you to me, and bound me to you. We were meant to be together this way. Time, distance, and even death can not take us from one another now. Satisfied, she curled against her charge- purring deep in her throat.  
  
And so it is, the child knew in a calm detached whisper. We will never sever.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Upir lie awake till tiny threads of morning kissed her through the windows. Not daring to turn towards her still dreaming angel, she confessed gently, I can never be free of her. She will hunt me to my death. A quiet sob broke from her lips- her heart and soul shattered by those very words. Words she had always known in some dark and secret place. I'm so sorry.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Slumber assaulted by a piercing, hysterical scream, Dorothy woke reaching instinctively for a weapon- any weapon. All her sleepy, searching fingers found was a folded sheaf of paper, damp with tears and broken hearts.  
  
Knowing somehow that her world had been wounded and shamed, she tucked the small note deep within her robe and followed mechanically the source of the screams.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Jesus Fucking Christ!  
  
Wufei's head snapped instantly from the scattered pages of data and news reports as Duo's curse ripped away the silence of their afternoon. Willing his heart to pause in its frantic pace, he made a small sound as to inquire of the sudden and earth shattering burst from his companion.  
  
To this, Duo only pointed dumbly to the television, where the screen illuminated the image of a blank faced Dorothy Catalonia being led from a dusty hotel by the local authorities.  
  
_Trail of disfigured corpses leads to the granddaughter of a fallen War Lord,_ cried a shocked looking reporter, chasing clumsily after the detained catch of the day. _Miss Catalonia, why did you murder these innocents?!_ he shrieked with undisguised horror.  
  
No one is innocent, she whispered, her voice lacking humanity, her posture rigid with failure. She was dead to her senses- dead to the world, and too mournfully broken to put up a fight.  
  
Maid found a shredded body in front of Dorothy's door, Duo explained. Seems a bit obvious if you ask me. He snorted awkwardly, eyes still held in disbelief by the scene before him. They say she had someone with her- they think that's who the body belongs to.  
  
_Dorothy wouldn't kill Upir,_ Relena said, sounding far more certain than she felt. _Why would she go through the trouble of kidnapping her, flying to the ends of the universe, and disappearing without a trace if only to kill her in the end in such a pitifully evident way? It doesn't make any sense._  
  
Wufei seemed to be thinking along the same lines. I assume this means the Beast has Upir. Though I don't see why she disposed of Dorothy this way. She didn't kill her.  
  
Something's not right, Duo mumbled beneath his breath. She's not done with any of us yet.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Dorothy stared blankly into the pallid walls of the holding cell. Void of movement, sound and emotion, her body stiff and cold, she seemed so much like a statue- some tortured tragic marble. But inside, deep within the chambers of her mind, and heart, there was light and fire and war.  
  
Upir had abandoned her.  
  
_____The beautiful one's the one's we'll remember  
_____The precious one's our greatest pretenders  
  
The princess had tried to explain away her flight. She wrote in hasty, untidy words that Erlösung was somehow tied to her. She could track her- hunt her through this bond. Upir ran to save Dorothy the wounds of facing the Beast again. It still hurt like betrayal. Erlösung had still found time to take care of Dorothy before continuing the chase. Why she had not killed her though- that one thought confused her as much as Upir's decision. Dorothy had vowed to protect, to shield and guard the princess- she had promised to love, and keep her always from harm. Her heart tore at the realization. Upir could not believe in her.  
  
Muffled sounds, sounds like flesh impacting with flesh- a struggle and the fall of unconscious bodies, pulled Dorothy slightly from the torment of her thoughts. A final thud, and creaking of the door had her on her feet. She all but gasped as the familiar form of Duo Maxwell invaded the seclusion of her cell.  
  
You need help, and I need answers, he said with a grin. We can do this the hard way, or the easy way.  
  
She found herself reaching a hand to him, allowing herself to be led from her prison before she had even decided to cooperate with her exuberant rescuer.  
  


. * . * .  


  
One minute. Two minutes. Maybe ten now. Wufei breaks the silence.  
  
he said, and that is all.   
  
Duo sighed heavily and crossed his arms over his chest. Uncrossed them, tossed his braid over his shoulder, bit his bottom lip. . . the fidgeting continued until he caught the Yuy worthy death glare Wufei had sent his way. He sighed again, and then began. Miss. Catalonia,  
  
Her voice was hard, unyielding. As an afterthought she added Almost to herself. Almost like a prayer.  
  
Duo tasted the name, sampled it, and finding it safe, made to start again. But the question died on his lips as Dorothy's lips formed the words without further coercion.   
  
I've failed her again. She couldn't trust me, and so I couldn't guard her. She left me last night. Here, She handed Upir's crumply little farewell to Wufei who scrutinized it as only he could. She is sacrificing herself to protect me like I wanted to protect her.  
  
Surprisingly, Wufei slew the awkward quiet pause again. You think the Beast has her now?   
  
She does.  
  
You know this? You're certain?   
  
At this, Dorothy turned on the solitary dragon moist dead-eyes. Eyes that sang the ballad of a thousand shattered hopes. Of loss. Of despondent finality. Wasn't that the point? Was what she said. She's setting us free.  
  


. * . * .  


  
You came back.  
  


. * . * .  


  
_You believed in me once, could you find it in your heart to believe in me again?_  
  


. * . * .  


  
I knew that you would.  
  


. * . * .  


  
_I promise you, we will never say goodbye._  
  


. * . * .  


  
You are mine.  
  


. * . * .  


  
_Believe in me, believe that I love you, and Death itself could never keep me from you._  
  


. * . * .  


  
  
  
What did you say.  
  
Upir lifted tear stained eyes to those of her guardian- her monster- herself. I said no, Her voice was stronger than the gaze. Stronger than the hurt. No, I am not yours. Not anymore.  
  
Erlösung's face was a war, death, fire, decay and vengeance. Her ruby-eyes held the malice of fallen armies. In her back curling lips and cruel, cruel teeth was the impact of the battle cry. The intensity of every grinding bone and fractured hope.  
  
Kill me.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Duo was pacing. The soles of his shoes leaving tiny smudges on the tiled floor, his face grim with thought and exhaustion. Dorothy sat motionless at the make-shift hotel table. Duo spun to retrace his steps, his thick plait whipping around him. With Wufei and Relena momentarily absent the conversation had died away- neither the god of death or the blond assassin daring to splinter the silence that had grown so confidently between them.  
  
Dorothy's breaths were soft, Duo's steps echoing, and the tap-tap-tapping of the rain on the windows spoke volumes of the hush.  
  
I don't know where they are, Dorothy soon found herself saying, though not for the first time. No one knew. No one even seemed able to guess at a starting point. The universe was vast, the Beast's resources great, and time much too little. Duo ceased his pacing long enough to turn sympathetic yet still faithless eyes upon his companion before turning for another round.  
  
Why didn't she kill me? Dorothy wondered at her openness, as did Duo.  
  
She wants you to suffer, he replied without much thought. You can't feel the loss like she did if you're dead.  
  


. * . * .  


  
You want to die?  
  
I do.  
  
Her body taut and without remorse, her eyes of glass and determination. Her lips- a downward curving bow of finality. Hands trembling with the thought of an end, her end. Of freedom.  
  
I want to be free.  
  
Erlösung was laughing then. The sandpaper-harsh sound curling from a clotting throat. A laugh that scratched away at the princesses courage with merciless little dagger-teeth. she cooed, mocking Upir with the gentle sound. you will never be free.  
  
_____I need a love to help me find my way  
_____I need a strength that I cannot betray  
_____I need a word to say what I can't say  
_____I need a lover, lover. I need a lover, lover  
  
Upir's steadfast lips smiled then, faintly, but wistfully. Oh, but I was. If only for a moment.  
  


. * . * .  


  
They sat, still, defeated, unwilling to meet each other's eyes. The radio was mumbling something soft and static in the heavy air. Duo leaned unconsciously into Wufei's side, comforted slightly by the warmth when the dragon did not pull away. Hours had passed- days? Duo did not know, nor did he care. The princess was gone, the Beast had won, and all they could do now was wait. For the next clue? For the end? For death? No one thought to hope that this was the end, that the Beast was satisfied with the willing return of her charge. Pacified without vengeance.   
  
Relena twitched her kitty-cat ears. _Duo, turn up the radio!_  
  
He did as he was told- knowing better than to question the desperate note in her voice, the pleading of her eyes.  
  
_A dedication_, the radio-announcer was saying in a throaty tone to demanding for conversation _to a Miss. Koneko and her princess_.  
  
I know this song, It was Dorothy who spoke, her voice cold and calculated. Her eyes like tiny tombstones. I know this- Her words caught somewhere between her mouth and her lips, bathing themselves in an emotion Duo had not known in a long time. I know where they are.  
  


. * . * .  


  
The Duke Dermail had kept many estates, many homes, safe-houses and hovels. He was a man of precaution and precision, leaving nothing to chance or fate. The Earth, the colonies, they were dominion and residence to him and his kin. Dorothy passed as though dreaming through the graveyard quiet of this place- a place that used to be her home. Once upon a time, as the saying goes. Was it always this dispiriting? she wondered. Duo, Wufei and the strange honey-colored cat followed silently behind her, casting trained and weary eyes about them.  
  
Was it she who spoke? That frightened little voice could not have been her own- could it?  
  
Duo nodded and made to break away, stopped only by the hand now holding his wrist. Be careful, was all Wufei could force from his lips before releasing him. Duo nodded, caught speechless for once, and disappeared into the shadows of this artificial night. Relena cast a sad knowing glance at her companions. Wufei tried for a weak smile and gathered her against himself, then followed Dorothy to the doors. To justice or vanquish.  
  


. * . * .  


  
I understand now.  
  
Upir stepped forward. Her movements certain and strong. Resolute.  
  
I know what I have to do.  
  
The Beast held her ground, neither in the light or the shadows.  
  
I have to set her free.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Dorothy had only the time to lose her breath before she saw the dagger.  
  
It's me, Upir was saying, I am what keeps you in this world. My breath feeds your lungs. My blood keeps you alive.  
  
The Beast was a statue then, a motionless gray specter, powerless as all her slain prey. Her red-eyes flashed malice and fear. Betrayal and doubt. Paralyzed as the blade caught what little light it could, drinking it like the death it knew would come.  
  
I know what I have to do. Upir's softness was gone, and in its place was the unyielding heat of the battle. The unforgiving steel determination of a soldier.   
  
  
  
The word was a breath on Dorothy's lips but it was too late.  
  


. * . * .  


  
An explosion rent the air. The flames lapped up the darkness and bathed the night with the fierce wrath of its glow. Duo' was all that Relena and Wufei were able to think before their world was plunged once more into darkness. Later, all Relena could remember were Dorothy's desperate cries. She had never heard a sound so heartbreaking. So raw and human. She imagined Wufei must have pulled them both from the burning house. Dorothy must have put up a fight- Relena herself must have been dead weight, and Duo was nowhere to be found. Wufei was swearing in a tongue she could not understand.  
  
When she was again conscious of her surroundings, they were far, far away.  
  
Dorothy was crying. So changed. Had Dorothy ever cried before? Duo was back, looking defeated, not a trace of his once bright smile. Even the thought of smiles seemed profane somehow. Wufei seemed lost, meditative as he stared through and past them all. No one spoke, only the soft sounds of Dorothy's tears marred the quiet. Was this the end? Relena wondered.   
  
_____And if you lose yourself  
_____Could you take me, too?  
_____Could you rest inside the sleep?  
  
Dorothy wanted to die. Relena could see it in her eyes, hear it in her rasping, crying breaths. Upir was gone- had Dorothy loved her? Is that why she now thought for nothing but to follow her? Relena cried inside for the sister she never knew. For the friend she never could reach. For the cruelty of fate and the harsh, harsh world. Wufei wanted justice, Duo wanted happily ever after, but Relena had nothing for them. She was helpless, this princess trapped in the body of an animal, in the guise of a simple household pet. Relena wanted to cry.   
  
Time passed. How much? She could not tell. The minutes went slipping by, slippery-slick with the seconds and hours.  
  
She heard Wufei's tough-soft voice. He said that they were gone. Upir had sacrificed herself to destroy the Beast. She never saw it coming- no one did. Dorothy did not believe him. In her tears, commingled with pain, was hope. Always hope. The last of Pandora's evils.  
  


. * . * .  


  
It was the song. That was how she knew. I'll set you free from you, it had said, and she knew. Upir, who was beautiful, who was selfless and kind had died for their sins. Upir who had loved her. Who she had loved completely; dragon-scarlet ferocity. _I am free_, Dorothy thought, almost aloud. _But I am alone. I am nothing_. There was no comfort for her in thought, in words, in life. There was nothing for her here, and she knew it.  
  
With the God of Death and the Solitary Dragon slumbering fitfully in the room beside her own, the Blonde Assassin crept on cat's feet away from this place. Away. Back. Back to where her life should have ended- in the arms of the Dove of peace. Only a small honey-colored cat marked her going.  
  


. * . * .  


  
It was a shell, a war torn graveyard, this house. It was never a home. Had they really planned to go there? In this burnt-out frame of knotted woods and curling boughs. It could have been a home, she heard her own voice whispering. If only for her. Beneath the ash, under the fallen gnarled planks of a once grand estate, was the only thing she had ever loved. The only one who had ever seen her. Her- Dorothy Catalonia. Not the assassin, the war-hungry, blood-lusting creature the Duke had made her. Upir's eyes could tear back the armor, they could find her in the deepest of nightmares and darkest of memories. Sad ruby eyes.   
  
Sad ruby eyes that knew her, that were to her, everything.  
  
her name was a prayer on chapped lips. A wish in a wilting heart. Hope.   
She was hope, if nothing else. Always hope. She felt the tears and did not try to stop them. Not this time, never again. She could not keep this from Upir, her mourning. For her, and no one else would she ever give these tears. It was all they had now, this sorrow. And even this, Dorothy could not deny her.  
  
Erlösung had hunted them endlessly, she could not have been satisfied without the death and capture she had promised. Only with Dorothy's final breath and Upir's return would she have relented. And even then, Dorothy was not sure she would have stopped. Who next? The Sanc delegation- the gundam pilots? Blood like wine flowing from all the oceans of the Earth would not have abated her thirst. Upir knew this. Upir knew that she was what kept the Beast alive. That only she could destroy her- destroy them both. Dorothy wept openly for her courage. For her unselfish heart. For her sacrifice. But Dorothy could not be so- so unselfish. All that she had ever wanted, needed and loved had gone with the consummation of the fires. The flames had licked clean the bones of the house and its unfortunate occupants. There was nothing for her here.  
  
Wind caught soot, tears and the withering star's light marred her face. Her once glorious hair shone dim, tangled and listless. Standing just inside what used to be the threshold, staring into what used to be a house, maybe even a home, Dorothy abandoned all thought of hope, all semblance of strength. Nothing, there was nothing. Alone, tortured and tattered was how she found her there, in the entrance to a house that never had the chance to be a home.  
  


~ flashback ~  


  
I know what I have to do. Upir's softness was gone, and in its place was the unyielding heat of the battle. The unforgiving steel determination of a soldier.   
  
  
  
The word was a breath on Dorothy's lips but it was too late.  
  
An explosion rent the air. The flames lapped up the darkness and bathed the night with the fierce wrath of its glow. Dorothy,' was all Upir was able to think before her world was once more plunged into darkness. She held fast to the dagger, seeking her skin. Seeking her death. She knew what she had to do, Dorothy would not understand, but she was setting her free. Free. She had to do this. She heard her name howled in the night, the flames dancing to life at the haunted cry. She saw the shadow looming before it fell upon her.  
  
Erlösung was screaming- screaming her name as she brought them both to the ground, battling for dominance, for the possession of the blade. _So familiar_, Upir thought absurdly, her mind so peaceful as her body fought beneath her guardian. She thought of Dorothy, of her love and strength. Of her eyes, and lips and voice. Dorothy, Dorothy, Dorothy- as though all of her was Dorothy's. And it was.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Don't cry, love. Shhh, don't cry.  
  
Her mind and her heart warred. Mind saying She is dead, you lost her. This is not real. But her heart would not be still, crying out for her, for her embrace, her kiss, her warmth. Dorothy buried herself in begging arms, against a tangible and waiting body. the word fought from her throat but died on her lips when she caught those eyes with her own. Ruby and ice. Fire and cloud. There was nothing else. Upir- and she knew that was all she would ever need.  
  
I could never leave you.  
  
She did not understand, but did not care. Upir, who was real and alive and holding her, was here. That was all that mattered. She did not care how, or why or what had happened. Was Erlösung alive still? Were they safe and free at last? It did not matter if Upir was with her. Nothing. Nothing mattered but this love. Just love, and every dream and wish and hope was true- was beautiful.  
  
I love you.  
  


. * . * .  


  
_She's gone. They both are._ Duo spun at Relena's soft words. The sleep was still heavy in his eyes and on his limbs. He regarded her with confusion, with sheer ignorance and naiveté for a moment before the words bled into his consciousness. And then, the panic.  
  
  
  
Relena, having known him too well and expecting such a reaction, was unfazed. She held a quiet, still position in the sill of the window and waited for the tempest to subside. she said to him after a long moment of ranting. _Dorothy left in the night, I followed her back to her grandfather's estate. Cherry, was it called?_  
  
You didn't wake me? Duo was offended.  
  
Relena was apologetic. _No. I couldn't. I don't know why, but it didn't seem right._  
  
He scoffed and she continued. _Upir's alive._  
  
Another of Duo's maddened-rants later, Relena began to explain. By this time, having woken to the hysterical shouts of his companion, Wufei had joined them. He seemed to understand, though none of Relena's gentle words reached him. Duo sighed and pressed uncertain fists against closed eyes. He gathered his wits, and said to Wufei, Upir's alive, she and Dorothy have disappeared and we have no idea what happened to the Beast.  
  
_She's gone. I can feel it._  
  
Duo rolled his eyes. Don't bother telling me I'm crazy- I know it, but Mab says the Beast is dead. He waited with downcast eyes for the justice-fueled lecture on weakness and mental stability that he believed would be spat his way, but it did not come. Wufei nodded once. I understand, is all he said.  
  
Duo wondered absently at the parallel universe he had been thrown into. I'll do a sweep, he said, mumbled something under his breath about cat scans and head shrinkers and was gone.  
  
_You love him, don't you?_  
  
the dragon said with eyes unwilling to meet hers. but he does not know me, and I do not know what love is.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Stay with me, I'll set you free from you...  
Stay with me, I'll set you free from you...  
  
  
She breathed in this love, and breathed out her past. All the pain and blood. All the loss and hurt. She breathed in her life in the pale sweet scent of the angel in her arms.  
  
_____Stay with me, I'll set you free from you...  
_____Stay with me, I'll set you free from you...   
  
  
They were free. They were alive and together- nothing could touch them. Was this the thing called love? She knew now that it was. And happily ever after? That as well.  
  


. * . * .  


  
Duo, Relena, and Wufei returned to the other pilots that morning. Duo felt a sort of closure growing inside of him, like the warmth of the Earth's sun starting in his chest and spreading through his body. Though every vessel, every cell, every pore. Relena was a melancholy kind of content. She would live, she would cherish and love, but not as those around her could.   
  
Wufei- he suffered silently, a solitary dragon, as he always had.  
  


. * . * .  


  
And in a land far away, and long forgotten, a fallen angel and a princess lived happily ever after.  
  
I need a love...  
  
  
  
  
~fin


	3. disclaimers exciting, ne?

disclaimers: by joon ^_^  
WE OWN NOTHING! BLA BLA BLA! i suppose you could sue, if you really wanted to. but really, what would you get?  
  
poe: um, pocket lint, a button or two, maybe some old manga. . .  
  
yeah, basically, you'd get nothing. so don't waste your time!  
  
gundam wing is not ours, sadly. edgar allan poe is not ours, *dramatic sigh* for annie was written by edgar allan poe in 1849. the smashing pumpkins are not ours,WAH! belongs to them and was released on the aeroplane flies high  
  
is that it? are we done?  
  
poe: i guess so. thank you again to all our readers.  
  
yes! THANK YOU & SAYONARA!!  
  
~juniper triton and poe nataku


End file.
